高中作文素材:2010年高考作文素材积累素材你“心动”了吗的相关文章推荐

高中作文素材:2010年高考作文素材积累素材你“心动”了吗

有一位学生拿了一篇自己的考场作文给我看，题目是“忏悔与赎罪”，大意是说，仅有口头上的忏悔还不够，还需要行动上的赎罪。思路、层次、语言都挺好，就是有些空洞，其中一段是这样写的—— 自我反省固然需要过人的勇气，可拿出行动更需要魄力。汉武帝，一个一生几乎都在穷兵黩武的皇帝，在晚年，也认识到了自己早年犯下的错误，他亲自下田与农人同播种，也许只是做做样子，但也说明他在为自己犯下的错误做些弥补。可见行动才是从根本上对愧疚的回应。从论证的角度来说，这段文字很难说有什么说服力。因为：(1)论据不确凿，缺乏对记录其相关言行的古籍的引述，很容易让人认为是在编造论据；(2)连自己都在说“也许只是做做样子”，怎么能让人信服“说明他在为自己犯下的错误做些弥补”？我提出了这些疑问，该生挠挠头说：我实在想不起来什么材料，就凭着印象写了这些。我于是说：如果不考虑材料的新鲜与新颖，有一个材料用在这里倒是很贴切的。 “廉蔺列传”你学过吧？廉颇“负荆请罪”的故事应该很熟悉吧？用在这里很合适！相关的文字你也很熟悉，可以用引号引述一些原文。他于是露出“茅舍顿开”的样子。该生走后，我又在想，为什么学生的考场作文老是空洞呢？答案是积累的太少。但是，每年学习了那么多节的语文课，过眼那么多的故事，怎么会没有积累呢？从上... [ 查看全文 ]

2011-09-10

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